Sometimes my daughter just floors me and leaves me speechless.
Whenever I pack her lunch, I always include a little love note. Last night she decided to write me one (a book, actually) and she put it in my lunch bag. I'll type what she meant, since we're still working on spelling!
I Love You
by Maya Scribner
I love you because you help me make stuff.
I love you because you color with me.
I love you because you take my picture pretty.
I love you because you help me put clothes on.
I love you because you are my mom.
I love you because you help me read books.
I love you because you pack my lunch.
I love you because when I feel scared, you help me feel safe.
And most of all, I love you because you love me.
And that is what makes being a mom totally worth it!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Amazing opportunities
When I became a mother, one of my goals was to be able to offer my kids (stepkids and daughter included) more opportunities than what I was afforded as a child. There was so much I wanted to do and learn while growing up, but for mostly financial reasons, was never able to take advantage of them. While we also have some financial limitations on giving our children everything they want (which would spoil them anyway!), I do want to ensure they get opportunities in life to learn and explore.
The career path I have chosen has actually afforded me some interesting opportunities. First, my career in radio allowed me to meet many country singers (Brooks and Dunn, John Michael Montgomery, Lee Roy Parnell, just to name a few). As a presenter at a performance venue, I also got to meet performers such as Keith Urban, Bea Arther, Debbie Gravitte, and more. Now, in my career in orchestra marketing, I've been able to work with Broadway 'divas' such as Linda Eder, Heather Headley, and now, Idina Menzel.
Last night, Idina Menzel performed with the Colorado Symphony. I have known of Idina since her Rent days. As a Gleek, my daughter knows Idina as "Rachel's mom" on Glee. So it was with great excitement that Maya and I attended the concert last night. Oh, and the legendary Marvin Hamlisch conducted and played piano on some numbers. The first half was orchestra only. Marvin played "Memory" as a solo on the piano. I asked Maya if she liked it and she said "It almost made me cry." I LOVE that my daughter gets music, that she can get the emotion from it.
Maya kept asking "When is Idina coming out?" Finally, the second half of the show started and out walks Idina. I looked over at Maya and the expression on her face was priceless. This woman who she has seen on TV and has heard sing from my iPod is in front of her on stage. She clapped with giddiness and giggled like, well, a school girl.
After the concert, she kept asking if she could meet her. Being a staff member of the orchestra, we were able to get backstage. We waited and waited and finally Idina came out of her dressing room. I pretty much told Maya "go up to her" (kids can get away with bold moves like this.) She did and Idina turned around and said "Oh, Hi!" Maya got to talk with her, we got her picture taken with her, and she got a goodbye hug. As we were walking away, I knew that all the sacrifices that I have made to get to where I am in my career isn't just for me. It's also benefiting my daughter by giving her these once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to meet these amazing performers. How many 6-year-olds get to see an orchestra up close and personal, and has attended numerous concerts? She gets to meet musicians, conductors, singers, dancers, aerialists and acrobats (she got to meet the performers of Cirque de la Symphonie earlier this year).
I don't want this to sound like I'm bragging. I just am so glad that what I've chosen to do in life is having such a positive influence on my child. She is being offered opportunities and experiences that I wasn't able to have as a child. Maybe that's why I have chosen the career path that I have as well. To have these experiences now as an adult, sometimes I feel a bit giddy like a school girl as well.
The career path I have chosen has actually afforded me some interesting opportunities. First, my career in radio allowed me to meet many country singers (Brooks and Dunn, John Michael Montgomery, Lee Roy Parnell, just to name a few). As a presenter at a performance venue, I also got to meet performers such as Keith Urban, Bea Arther, Debbie Gravitte, and more. Now, in my career in orchestra marketing, I've been able to work with Broadway 'divas' such as Linda Eder, Heather Headley, and now, Idina Menzel.
Last night, Idina Menzel performed with the Colorado Symphony. I have known of Idina since her Rent days. As a Gleek, my daughter knows Idina as "Rachel's mom" on Glee. So it was with great excitement that Maya and I attended the concert last night. Oh, and the legendary Marvin Hamlisch conducted and played piano on some numbers. The first half was orchestra only. Marvin played "Memory" as a solo on the piano. I asked Maya if she liked it and she said "It almost made me cry." I LOVE that my daughter gets music, that she can get the emotion from it.
Maya kept asking "When is Idina coming out?" Finally, the second half of the show started and out walks Idina. I looked over at Maya and the expression on her face was priceless. This woman who she has seen on TV and has heard sing from my iPod is in front of her on stage. She clapped with giddiness and giggled like, well, a school girl.
After the concert, she kept asking if she could meet her. Being a staff member of the orchestra, we were able to get backstage. We waited and waited and finally Idina came out of her dressing room. I pretty much told Maya "go up to her" (kids can get away with bold moves like this.) She did and Idina turned around and said "Oh, Hi!" Maya got to talk with her, we got her picture taken with her, and she got a goodbye hug. As we were walking away, I knew that all the sacrifices that I have made to get to where I am in my career isn't just for me. It's also benefiting my daughter by giving her these once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to meet these amazing performers. How many 6-year-olds get to see an orchestra up close and personal, and has attended numerous concerts? She gets to meet musicians, conductors, singers, dancers, aerialists and acrobats (she got to meet the performers of Cirque de la Symphonie earlier this year).
I don't want this to sound like I'm bragging. I just am so glad that what I've chosen to do in life is having such a positive influence on my child. She is being offered opportunities and experiences that I wasn't able to have as a child. Maybe that's why I have chosen the career path that I have as well. To have these experiences now as an adult, sometimes I feel a bit giddy like a school girl as well.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
I'm getting the itch...
With my husband flying here in just a few days, I've been polishing up his theatre resume and starting to look at theatres that he can visit while he's here. And it's starting to give me the itch to be on stage again! One theatre has auditions coming up for Chicago. One of my dream roles is Velma Kelly! While Denver has tons of theatres, most of them do multiple weekend runs with up to 6 or 8 performances a week. There is no way I could work full-time, rehearse at night, and do 6 weekend performances. Just not possible.
I'm hoping to find some other opportunities, though. A theatre here in Lakewood has an open house in a few weeks where you can take your theatre resume as well as a headshot (which I don't have...). They're not only doing regular shows, but also cabaret nights. Before I left for Denver, I was trying to put together a few cabaret nights for some friends and I. This might be a perfect match. We'll see. Once Joel is out here, we're going to try to give our own Yellow Dragon Productions a try as well.
I knew that coming out here meant that I would have to put theatre on the back burner. But once it's in your blood, it's hard to get rid of. I can't help but crave the stage. Recently, my husband asked me (his non-adventurous wife) what fills me with adrenaline. I answered that it's the moment before I walk out onto stage, when the lights come up, and I'm filled with excitement, nervousness, and a wonderful thrill. It's hard to describe, but living in that moment is what makes me feel alive.
I'm hoping to find some other opportunities, though. A theatre here in Lakewood has an open house in a few weeks where you can take your theatre resume as well as a headshot (which I don't have...). They're not only doing regular shows, but also cabaret nights. Before I left for Denver, I was trying to put together a few cabaret nights for some friends and I. This might be a perfect match. We'll see. Once Joel is out here, we're going to try to give our own Yellow Dragon Productions a try as well.
I knew that coming out here meant that I would have to put theatre on the back burner. But once it's in your blood, it's hard to get rid of. I can't help but crave the stage. Recently, my husband asked me (his non-adventurous wife) what fills me with adrenaline. I answered that it's the moment before I walk out onto stage, when the lights come up, and I'm filled with excitement, nervousness, and a wonderful thrill. It's hard to describe, but living in that moment is what makes me feel alive.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Life in the Rockies
Luckily, life has settled down for Maya and I in this past month. She is doing MUCH better at school. After many frustrations and setbacks, she is starting to thrive. She has friends at both school and her after-school care. She has moved up a level in math. She enjoys her music class. While she still has some rough mornings, we're getting used to our new life.
Of course, now I'm the one trying to make new friends. I've met a lot of new people and hope to continue building some of those relationships. But it is hard. Thank God for Facebook and Skype! I'm still able to talk to friends and family back home.
Joel and I are doing well so far with the separation. We talk every day. He'll be here in two weeks and will be staying for two weeks. Maya and I are both excited to see him and spend time with him. He's here over Halloween, so we'll all have fun trick-or-treating together. Maya and I willl be flying home for Christmas for about 10 -12 days.
So, life continues to move forward. Maya and I try to do something new each weekend (last weekend it was hiking, today we went to a pumpkin festival). I really want to make Colorado our home, so the more we get ourselves out there, the better it will be.
Of course, now I'm the one trying to make new friends. I've met a lot of new people and hope to continue building some of those relationships. But it is hard. Thank God for Facebook and Skype! I'm still able to talk to friends and family back home.
Joel and I are doing well so far with the separation. We talk every day. He'll be here in two weeks and will be staying for two weeks. Maya and I are both excited to see him and spend time with him. He's here over Halloween, so we'll all have fun trick-or-treating together. Maya and I willl be flying home for Christmas for about 10 -12 days.
So, life continues to move forward. Maya and I try to do something new each weekend (last weekend it was hiking, today we went to a pumpkin festival). I really want to make Colorado our home, so the more we get ourselves out there, the better it will be.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
The biggest challenge of my life
I didn't expect this move would be easy. I knew it would probably be the hardest thing to do in my life to date. This move didn't just affect me. It affected my family, my friends, my co-workers. It's days like today when I'm sitting in bed, feeling under the weather, as I have all week, and just feeling very lonely. Maya has been struggling with the change. I took her away from her friends and family, and she's finding it hard to fit in. While I have a great support system back home, it's hard to call on that from 1200 miles away.
But despite the challenges, I knew the move should happen. Although some might think I was selfish for accepting a new job in another state, and breaking apart my family for a year, but I still do believe that it was the right decision. There are nothing but opportunities for all of us. I know Maya doesn't see that now, but they are there. My husband has so many new choices for work out here. I know that I have growth potential in this community for my career. But on days like today, it feels like a really stupid idea.
I don't expect I'll feel maudlin like this all the time. But it's been a week without my husband (the longest we've gone without seeing each other is two weeks.), it's been a week of immense challenges for my daughter at school. It's been a week of trying to fit in myself in a new work environment. And it doesn't help that my body is still trying to get used to this altitude and air, and is revolting against it.
I was going to try some retail therapy today. A few new clothes for Fall (which doesn't seem to be coming with the 80 degree temps). But perhaps just a 'lay in bed and read' type of day is in order. Maya seems content to watch movies all day. Maybe I just need a day to recoup, reset, and remind myself why I made this move and this major life decision.
But despite the challenges, I knew the move should happen. Although some might think I was selfish for accepting a new job in another state, and breaking apart my family for a year, but I still do believe that it was the right decision. There are nothing but opportunities for all of us. I know Maya doesn't see that now, but they are there. My husband has so many new choices for work out here. I know that I have growth potential in this community for my career. But on days like today, it feels like a really stupid idea.
I don't expect I'll feel maudlin like this all the time. But it's been a week without my husband (the longest we've gone without seeing each other is two weeks.), it's been a week of immense challenges for my daughter at school. It's been a week of trying to fit in myself in a new work environment. And it doesn't help that my body is still trying to get used to this altitude and air, and is revolting against it.
I was going to try some retail therapy today. A few new clothes for Fall (which doesn't seem to be coming with the 80 degree temps). But perhaps just a 'lay in bed and read' type of day is in order. Maya seems content to watch movies all day. Maybe I just need a day to recoup, reset, and remind myself why I made this move and this major life decision.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Coming to you LIVE from Colorado!
Well, perhaps not LIVE, since you are reading this after I've posted. But anyway, we're in Denver! I started my new job last Monday. Maya started her new school the day after. Hubby stayed here through yesterday when he flew home. So, this is it. We're on our own for awhile. Since hubby's departure yesterday, I've tried to keep Maya entertained. We went to the pool yesterday (our condo complex has one, luckily). We had 'girls night in' last night by watching movies and eating junk food. Today we went to the Denver Zoo and then this evening went to play in her school playground. I hope that soon we'll develop a nice rhythm so that she can get some stability back in her life.
She did ask my yesterday why I took her away from home. That was hard to hear. It's hard to explain to a 6-year-old how major life decisions such as relocating can actually be a good thing in the end. Yes, it's hard to live apart as a family. Yes, it will be hard to make new friends. But I would not have moved her all the way out here if I didn't believe that this will be a good move for us in the long run.
I believe my new job will get even busier starting this week. I move into my new office tomorrow (hopefully) and will hit the ground running after last week's more introductory phase. There's a lot of great things to work on and accomplish and it's exciting to start a new challenge.
As for the 'diva' part of me, theater will have to be on hold at least until next summer. As a 'single parent' temporarily, I have no support system out here to allow me to do a show. It will be tough, but I've gone longer between shows. I've also thought about living through my daughter and having her sign up for some youth theatre programs.
So, here's to new challenges and opportunities. And to keeping my sanity...
She did ask my yesterday why I took her away from home. That was hard to hear. It's hard to explain to a 6-year-old how major life decisions such as relocating can actually be a good thing in the end. Yes, it's hard to live apart as a family. Yes, it will be hard to make new friends. But I would not have moved her all the way out here if I didn't believe that this will be a good move for us in the long run.
I believe my new job will get even busier starting this week. I move into my new office tomorrow (hopefully) and will hit the ground running after last week's more introductory phase. There's a lot of great things to work on and accomplish and it's exciting to start a new challenge.
As for the 'diva' part of me, theater will have to be on hold at least until next summer. As a 'single parent' temporarily, I have no support system out here to allow me to do a show. It will be tough, but I've gone longer between shows. I've also thought about living through my daughter and having her sign up for some youth theatre programs.
So, here's to new challenges and opportunities. And to keeping my sanity...
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Life can change in the blink of an eye
Wow. It's been one hell of a month. To think that less than a month ago, I was blissfully unaware how much my life would change. On July 16, I received an email from a headhunter that I had worked with last summer for a job at the Colorado Symphony (which I didn't get at the time.) They were calling to ask if I would be interested in a different job at the organization. At first, I was skeptical. I really want to take the top marketing job at a larger orchestra. I really did enjoy my time out there last year and was incredibly bummed when I didn't get that job. But I decided to proceed with finding out what they were looking for.
The job is very similar to what I do now, just on a much larger scale. They flew my husband and I out there to Denver, I interviewed, and was offered the job. Offers and counter-offers were made, and I accepted. So I'm moving to Denver.
WHAT! I'm moving to DENVER!?!?
This decision did not come lightly. And this decision, even though already made, will not be an easy one to carry out. As my stepson is starting his senior year this week, we knew that my husband would stay behind to see him through it. He will make the move to Denver next June. Having a long-distance marriage is challenge enough. But then we had to decide who Maya would stay with. Should she start school here, then move out with me next semester? Should I take her with me from the beginning and start brand new at a school? Taking her away from one parent for an extended period of time isn't easy.
We (well, okay, I) decided that she would come with me. I argued that if I were to make the move to Denver, I would be alone. Hubby would have all three kids while I had no one. Yes, this was my price to pay to decide to take the job that I wouldn't be able to have my whole family move, but I cannot imagine being without my daughter even for a week, let alone months.
We have made plans that hubby will visit as often as he can. Maya and I will come for Christmas and Jon's graduation next summer. My sister in L.A. will visit us in Denver when she is able. We'll make it work. We have to make it work.
So many emotions are going through my head right now. Excitement, nervousness, stress, anxiety, sadness...I just hope that this is truly the right decision. If I had a crystal ball, I would ask to see what life will be like one year from now. Then I would know.
As for my dear husband, I know this will be the hardest year of our lives. I know this will challenge us in ways we have never been challenged. I know this scares the crap out of him. But we CAN make it work. We just have to believe in each other and TRUST in each other. I see only good things for him in this move as well. So many new opportunities for him in Denver that just don't exist here. I hope he truly believes that.
So, my next post will most likely come from Denver. Wish me luck.
The job is very similar to what I do now, just on a much larger scale. They flew my husband and I out there to Denver, I interviewed, and was offered the job. Offers and counter-offers were made, and I accepted. So I'm moving to Denver.
WHAT! I'm moving to DENVER!?!?
This decision did not come lightly. And this decision, even though already made, will not be an easy one to carry out. As my stepson is starting his senior year this week, we knew that my husband would stay behind to see him through it. He will make the move to Denver next June. Having a long-distance marriage is challenge enough. But then we had to decide who Maya would stay with. Should she start school here, then move out with me next semester? Should I take her with me from the beginning and start brand new at a school? Taking her away from one parent for an extended period of time isn't easy.
We (well, okay, I) decided that she would come with me. I argued that if I were to make the move to Denver, I would be alone. Hubby would have all three kids while I had no one. Yes, this was my price to pay to decide to take the job that I wouldn't be able to have my whole family move, but I cannot imagine being without my daughter even for a week, let alone months.
We have made plans that hubby will visit as often as he can. Maya and I will come for Christmas and Jon's graduation next summer. My sister in L.A. will visit us in Denver when she is able. We'll make it work. We have to make it work.
So many emotions are going through my head right now. Excitement, nervousness, stress, anxiety, sadness...I just hope that this is truly the right decision. If I had a crystal ball, I would ask to see what life will be like one year from now. Then I would know.
As for my dear husband, I know this will be the hardest year of our lives. I know this will challenge us in ways we have never been challenged. I know this scares the crap out of him. But we CAN make it work. We just have to believe in each other and TRUST in each other. I see only good things for him in this move as well. So many new opportunities for him in Denver that just don't exist here. I hope he truly believes that.
So, my next post will most likely come from Denver. Wish me luck.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Lifestyle changes
Lifestyle changes are hard. I should know. I've been off caffeine (i.e. Pepsi) for two weeks now. It is the longest I have ever gone without a caffeinated beverage. Like since I was a teenager, I think. The reasons are two-fold. I was so addicted to caffeine that I couldn't go a day without it. There would be days when I was sick or just didn't feel like drinking a Pepsi, but I would, JUST to avoid the withdrawal headache that I knew I would get.
The second reason is that I'm really trying to get in better shape. I know that drinking so much soda was not helping my waistline. A lot of people keep telling me I don't need to lose weight. Well, that's not the reason I'm doing it. I don't necessarily care how much I weigh, but I do care about where it all sits (my waist, hips, thighs, butt...you get the picture.) So in general, trying to limit the amount of sugary drinks and snacks has been a goal. Without the Pepsi, I have found myself craving more snacks, though.
I will say that I have had a few non-caffeinated sodas over the past two weeks. A few Sprites as well as a root beer. But if I'm going to kick this habit, I am trying to avoid it as much as possible. There have been so many days when I am just jonesing for a Pepsi. I think "No one has to know. I can sneak one. It doesn't mean that I'll drink one tomorrow. I just need to get through the day." Sound like an addict???
The other lifestyle change I'm making is trying to get more exercise. I have been doing a 2-mile walk/jog every other day for the past two weeks. I force myself to do this even if I don't want to crawl out of bed a half hour early. There are also some exercises I'm trying to do to tone my arms, etc., but those are harder to do religiously.
So my willpower is steadfast and my motivation is strong. I really hope to make this a permanent lifestyle change. Wish me luck.
The second reason is that I'm really trying to get in better shape. I know that drinking so much soda was not helping my waistline. A lot of people keep telling me I don't need to lose weight. Well, that's not the reason I'm doing it. I don't necessarily care how much I weigh, but I do care about where it all sits (my waist, hips, thighs, butt...you get the picture.) So in general, trying to limit the amount of sugary drinks and snacks has been a goal. Without the Pepsi, I have found myself craving more snacks, though.
I will say that I have had a few non-caffeinated sodas over the past two weeks. A few Sprites as well as a root beer. But if I'm going to kick this habit, I am trying to avoid it as much as possible. There have been so many days when I am just jonesing for a Pepsi. I think "No one has to know. I can sneak one. It doesn't mean that I'll drink one tomorrow. I just need to get through the day." Sound like an addict???
The other lifestyle change I'm making is trying to get more exercise. I have been doing a 2-mile walk/jog every other day for the past two weeks. I force myself to do this even if I don't want to crawl out of bed a half hour early. There are also some exercises I'm trying to do to tone my arms, etc., but those are harder to do religiously.
So my willpower is steadfast and my motivation is strong. I really hope to make this a permanent lifestyle change. Wish me luck.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Mini-me, or not a mini-me?
It's often been said that my daughter is a mini-me...just a smaller version of me in attitude and personality. Then why do we always butt heads so much?
Well, now I know why. A friend of mine recommended the book "Nurture by Nature" that allows you to find out your child's personality type. I have known mine for several years. I am an ISTJ. For those who aren't geeks like me and love to analyze things like this, it means that I am Introverted-Sensing-Thinking-Judging. The opposite of that is Extroverted-Intuitive-Feeling-Perceiving (ENFP). Myers-Briggs and other temperament tests are available if you want to find yours out as well.
So this morning I crack open the book and start delving into it to pinpoint where my daughter is. Some of them are difficult to ascertain, as she has a lot of different traits in the various categories. So when I think I have determined her temperament and then go to the page that gives an overview of that temperament, it is spot on. My daughter is an ESFP. The exact temperament of my husband! (No wonder we butt heads so much when I now have TWO of them in the house!)
My daughter and I do share a lot of similar qualities, mostly just because she has taken on some of my more, um, not so endearing traits, like the eye-rolling and the snarky attitude. But she truly is an energetic, happy-go-lucky, sensitive and caring child. An ESFP to the core.
While not too surprising to me, I do hope that now that I understand her personality, and knowing that it is just like my husband, I can find ways to help balance out that extra energy and sensitivity in the house. I'm thinking a nice, dark cave...
Well, now I know why. A friend of mine recommended the book "Nurture by Nature" that allows you to find out your child's personality type. I have known mine for several years. I am an ISTJ. For those who aren't geeks like me and love to analyze things like this, it means that I am Introverted-Sensing-Thinking-Judging. The opposite of that is Extroverted-Intuitive-Feeling-Perceiving (ENFP). Myers-Briggs and other temperament tests are available if you want to find yours out as well.
So this morning I crack open the book and start delving into it to pinpoint where my daughter is. Some of them are difficult to ascertain, as she has a lot of different traits in the various categories. So when I think I have determined her temperament and then go to the page that gives an overview of that temperament, it is spot on. My daughter is an ESFP. The exact temperament of my husband! (No wonder we butt heads so much when I now have TWO of them in the house!)
My daughter and I do share a lot of similar qualities, mostly just because she has taken on some of my more, um, not so endearing traits, like the eye-rolling and the snarky attitude. But she truly is an energetic, happy-go-lucky, sensitive and caring child. An ESFP to the core.
While not too surprising to me, I do hope that now that I understand her personality, and knowing that it is just like my husband, I can find ways to help balance out that extra energy and sensitivity in the house. I'm thinking a nice, dark cave...
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Calls of love
As Maya is staying home this summer, I am trying to add structure to her day by assigning her tasks, or limiting how much TV she watches, or having her get outside and playing. Of course, I'm not the one who is home with her so it's hard to ensure that she's getting the structure she needs when I'm not home. But the one thing I thought I could control is letting her call me at work if she needed to talk to me or ask questions.
Hmmmmm...giving a 6-year-old the authority to pick up the phone and call you is like, well, a kid in a candy store. They just don't know when enough is enough. The first day I gave her this authority (and wrote down my direct work number on the bulletin board), she called me six times. Yes, six times throughout an 8-hour day. About three of those ended up as voicemails as I wasn't at my desk the entire time. This week, she's called me about 4-5 times a day. The conversations all go something like this.
Maya: Hi Mommy!
Me: Hi sweetie! How are you?
Maya: Good. How's your day?
Me: Just fine.
Maya: What are you doing?
Me: Working
Maya: Are you having a good day.
Me: Yes sweetie. Did you need something?
Maya: I just wanted to call and say I love you. When are you coming home?
Me: In a few hours.
SILENCE
Me: Is there anything else sweetie?
Maya: I love you and Daddy loves you and I can't wait until you get home and I hope you're having a good day at work.
While the multiple distractions can be a bit, well, distracting, it's nice to hear that sweet voice on the other end of the phone. For occasions when I'm not having such a good day, those voicemails are still on my phone to listen to whenever I need a bit of love!
Hmmmmm...giving a 6-year-old the authority to pick up the phone and call you is like, well, a kid in a candy store. They just don't know when enough is enough. The first day I gave her this authority (and wrote down my direct work number on the bulletin board), she called me six times. Yes, six times throughout an 8-hour day. About three of those ended up as voicemails as I wasn't at my desk the entire time. This week, she's called me about 4-5 times a day. The conversations all go something like this.
Maya: Hi Mommy!
Me: Hi sweetie! How are you?
Maya: Good. How's your day?
Me: Just fine.
Maya: What are you doing?
Me: Working
Maya: Are you having a good day.
Me: Yes sweetie. Did you need something?
Maya: I just wanted to call and say I love you. When are you coming home?
Me: In a few hours.
SILENCE
Me: Is there anything else sweetie?
Maya: I love you and Daddy loves you and I can't wait until you get home and I hope you're having a good day at work.
While the multiple distractions can be a bit, well, distracting, it's nice to hear that sweet voice on the other end of the phone. For occasions when I'm not having such a good day, those voicemails are still on my phone to listen to whenever I need a bit of love!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Yellow Dragon Productions is here!
Our production company is up and running! We have a logo, a name, a P.O. Box, a checking account, a website, and money starting to come in from summer theatre camps for students. If you're interested, visit http://www.yellowdragonproductions.com/. While I am a marketer, I am NOT a graphic designer. The website needs some work, but it came free with our domain name, so I'll work with it.
My husband and I have been talking about this for several years. Due to his unemployment situation (from his full-time job - he still has his two contract jobs), we thought that there was no time better than the present. I think we can do a lot of really great stuff. But now trying to run a business along with working full-time, being a wife and mother, and trying to fit in other shows along the way? Yes, I am insane.
Speaking of shows, there are some really intriguing ones coming up next season at the various theatres that I want to take a look at. One theatre is doing one of my all-time favorites - "Godspell". I did this show at a church several years ago. LOVE the music. Two productions around the holidays look interesting, but on various ends of the spectrum. "Drood", which is a humorous and audience interactive murder mystery, complete with the main character portrayed by a female actor in male drag, OR "White Christmas", a feel-good, happy-go-lucky musical. Both have interesting roles in them. Later in the season, "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" or "Jesus Christ Superstar" look possible. BUT it all depends on what hubby and I decide to produce.
Let's see if I can make it through the year with all of the things I continue to pile on my plate!
My husband and I have been talking about this for several years. Due to his unemployment situation (from his full-time job - he still has his two contract jobs), we thought that there was no time better than the present. I think we can do a lot of really great stuff. But now trying to run a business along with working full-time, being a wife and mother, and trying to fit in other shows along the way? Yes, I am insane.
Speaking of shows, there are some really intriguing ones coming up next season at the various theatres that I want to take a look at. One theatre is doing one of my all-time favorites - "Godspell". I did this show at a church several years ago. LOVE the music. Two productions around the holidays look interesting, but on various ends of the spectrum. "Drood", which is a humorous and audience interactive murder mystery, complete with the main character portrayed by a female actor in male drag, OR "White Christmas", a feel-good, happy-go-lucky musical. Both have interesting roles in them. Later in the season, "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" or "Jesus Christ Superstar" look possible. BUT it all depends on what hubby and I decide to produce.
Let's see if I can make it through the year with all of the things I continue to pile on my plate!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
I've created a monster!
My dear daughter has definitely gotten the bug. The performing bug, that is. Ever since she was in the Christmas show with us, she has been asking when she can do a show again. A few weeks ago, she announced that she wanted to take voice lessons so she can be a really good singer like me. Then a week after that, she asked when she could take ballet lessons again. Tonight, she comes in complaining that she has only taken ballet classes and now wants to learn tap!
While I am excited about her growing interest in the arts, I am concerned about my pocketbook! To get her lessons in all these activities will be a pretty penny. There are some camps I might sign her up for this summer so she can get a taste. I've also been trying to convince her to try gymnastics (she has the perfect build for it.)
I imagine that she is also more interested than ever since I started letting her watch Glee with me. I LOVE that show and she's seen the past three or so episodes with me. A friend of mine gave me a Glee CD, and she's been listening to it ever since! She has "Run Joey Run" and "Total Eclipse of the Heart" almost memorized.
In the meantime, my husband and I have started our theatre production company. He'll be teaching summer theatre camps in history, stagecraft, and acting. Next summer, we're planning on letting Maya help design a kids acting workshop. Hey, I didn't get into acting until I was in my teens. Starting at age 5, she's getting a huge jump on the competition!
While I am excited about her growing interest in the arts, I am concerned about my pocketbook! To get her lessons in all these activities will be a pretty penny. There are some camps I might sign her up for this summer so she can get a taste. I've also been trying to convince her to try gymnastics (she has the perfect build for it.)
I imagine that she is also more interested than ever since I started letting her watch Glee with me. I LOVE that show and she's seen the past three or so episodes with me. A friend of mine gave me a Glee CD, and she's been listening to it ever since! She has "Run Joey Run" and "Total Eclipse of the Heart" almost memorized.
In the meantime, my husband and I have started our theatre production company. He'll be teaching summer theatre camps in history, stagecraft, and acting. Next summer, we're planning on letting Maya help design a kids acting workshop. Hey, I didn't get into acting until I was in my teens. Starting at age 5, she's getting a huge jump on the competition!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Color-blind casting?
So, I talked to Maya about whether or not she would want me to do another show this summer, and she said No. So I did not audition for the summer musical. There are other musicals coming up later next season that I'm interested in, so I am happy to oblige her. Hubby, however, will be auditioning. It will be great to see him up on stage again. It's been a long time since he's acted, since he's the big director now, but I think he'll see how much he missed it!
Having two actor parents, it isn't shocking that Maya wants to continue to do theatre after her debut stage appearance this past December. But something started to bug me the other night...Maya went with some friends to see Annie Jr. at a local elementary school. She had a great time, and the next night, we watched the movie. When it was over, I asked her if she would want to be in that show and she said Yes! Of course, she would want to play Annie. Then I imagined it. Would there ever be a director who would cast a tan-skinned Asian brunette as little red-headed orphan Annie? It made me wonder if she'll have challenges on getting roles because of her ethnicity. Will my daughter be able to get the leads normally played by white actresses? I know the challenges of not getting roles because I wasn't the right 'look', but will she have even more of those challenges? How many directors will cast color-blind?
I don't doubt that my daughter will have talent. At 6 years old, she's already asking for voice lessons and wants to plan a children's drama camp with her dad. I don't want to ever tell my child that she can't be what she wants to be. If she wants to be an actress, then I'm behind her 100%. But as an Asian-American, what opportunities will there be for her? Can you name even five Asian-American actresses? I don't know that I can either. How can I prepare her and nurture her to beat the odds?
Having two actor parents, it isn't shocking that Maya wants to continue to do theatre after her debut stage appearance this past December. But something started to bug me the other night...Maya went with some friends to see Annie Jr. at a local elementary school. She had a great time, and the next night, we watched the movie. When it was over, I asked her if she would want to be in that show and she said Yes! Of course, she would want to play Annie. Then I imagined it. Would there ever be a director who would cast a tan-skinned Asian brunette as little red-headed orphan Annie? It made me wonder if she'll have challenges on getting roles because of her ethnicity. Will my daughter be able to get the leads normally played by white actresses? I know the challenges of not getting roles because I wasn't the right 'look', but will she have even more of those challenges? How many directors will cast color-blind?
I don't doubt that my daughter will have talent. At 6 years old, she's already asking for voice lessons and wants to plan a children's drama camp with her dad. I don't want to ever tell my child that she can't be what she wants to be. If she wants to be an actress, then I'm behind her 100%. But as an Asian-American, what opportunities will there be for her? Can you name even five Asian-American actresses? I don't know that I can either. How can I prepare her and nurture her to beat the odds?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
All good things must come to an end.
Closing weekend approaches. We've had sell-out attendance and this weekend is no exception. It's been a fun run and I'm glad I did the show. These past few weeks, once the show opened and I had free time again, I've been able to make up the time to Maya. Last night, we went for a walk, played outside in the backyard, looked for four-leaf clovers, went through pictures from China. Tonight we made brownies, read books. Maya is at that age where she wants to be so much older than her age, but then turns around and just wants to cuddle and be the sweet little one she is.
So here's the next dilemma...a good friend of ours is directing a summer show and wants both hubby and I to audition. This could be a chance to get a leading role in a musical, something that doesn't come my way often. Do we both want to give up our summer to do this show? What do we do with Maya if we're both in it? Will she suffer if both parents are away at rehearsal at night? I'm pretty sure I know the answer to some of those questions. What sacrifices are you willing to make to get an opportunity that doesn't come around often? We still have a week to decide, and even if we do audition, there are no guarantees. But the what ifs on both sides are hard to overlook.
So here's the next dilemma...a good friend of ours is directing a summer show and wants both hubby and I to audition. This could be a chance to get a leading role in a musical, something that doesn't come my way often. Do we both want to give up our summer to do this show? What do we do with Maya if we're both in it? Will she suffer if both parents are away at rehearsal at night? I'm pretty sure I know the answer to some of those questions. What sacrifices are you willing to make to get an opportunity that doesn't come around often? We still have a week to decide, and even if we do audition, there are no guarantees. But the what ifs on both sides are hard to overlook.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Why I love theatre
Okay, so it's been three weeks since I last posted. Yes, doing a show while working full-time means I am NEVER home! Or too tired when I am home to post. The show opened this weekend and went very well. Two more weekends left, and I am now reveling in the fact that I have today off with nothing to do and nowhere to be. It's wonderful. Maya and I ran out to get doughnuts this morning, now she's watching TV and I am relaxing in bed. How I've missed this.
I know that many people who aren't involved in theatre don't understand why I put myself through this...the long hours, the time away from my family. So I wrote the following post on facebook to try to sum up why I do theatre and why I need it in my life.:
Fellow cast member, Lee Kelso, asked me last night why we choose to do this crazy thing called theatre. And it got me thinking...why do we? What is it about theatre that has caused so many of us to choose it as a hobby, obssession, or career?
Some of us might do it for the applause and recognition, or the escape from reality, or the challenge of the technical aspects.
After thinking about it, for me, it's the new experiences. Meeting new people - becoming a new person, on-stage and off. I think back to the beginning of my theatre roots, back to high school when I wanted so badly to follow in my sisters' footsteps. Kim and Jennifer were involved in plays and musicals, so what was the younger sister to do to keep up? After that first experience, I was hooked. From my very first show as a Girl #6 in Lil' Abner, to tonight's opening of Dial "M" for Murder, I look back on all of the different experiences that theatre has offered to my life over the past 20-some years.
From the many roles I've played... I've been a maiden in a tower, survived a great Biblical flood on the Ark, attempted murdering a nun (and then shot by said nun), aborted my potentially gay child, stole jewelry off of corpses, seduced and was seduced, sang about lost love, new hope. Each experience something different than before, and so different from my real life.
From the many people I've met...lifelong friends, former castmates that I run into down at Henry's, and most important, true love. My husband did, after all, meet me at an audition, fell in love with me during rehearsals, had our first kiss backstage, proposed to me onstage after a show, even got married on a theatre stage. Theatre is what has brought the most important people into my life.
So, on this anniversary of William Shakespeare's death, and what is apparently also been dubbed "Hug an actor/techie/theatre geek Day", I wish to thank all of my fellow theatre junkies for giving me so many new experiences and new friendships. Break-a-leg to all of my fellow castmates tonight and to all of the other actors and techies taking to a stage this weekend. Before the lights go down and the curtain goes up, remember what it is that makes you love this so much.
I know that many people who aren't involved in theatre don't understand why I put myself through this...the long hours, the time away from my family. So I wrote the following post on facebook to try to sum up why I do theatre and why I need it in my life.:
Fellow cast member, Lee Kelso, asked me last night why we choose to do this crazy thing called theatre. And it got me thinking...why do we? What is it about theatre that has caused so many of us to choose it as a hobby, obssession, or career?
Some of us might do it for the applause and recognition, or the escape from reality, or the challenge of the technical aspects.
After thinking about it, for me, it's the new experiences. Meeting new people - becoming a new person, on-stage and off. I think back to the beginning of my theatre roots, back to high school when I wanted so badly to follow in my sisters' footsteps. Kim and Jennifer were involved in plays and musicals, so what was the younger sister to do to keep up? After that first experience, I was hooked. From my very first show as a Girl #6 in Lil' Abner, to tonight's opening of Dial "M" for Murder, I look back on all of the different experiences that theatre has offered to my life over the past 20-some years.
From the many roles I've played... I've been a maiden in a tower, survived a great Biblical flood on the Ark, attempted murdering a nun (and then shot by said nun), aborted my potentially gay child, stole jewelry off of corpses, seduced and was seduced, sang about lost love, new hope. Each experience something different than before, and so different from my real life.
From the many people I've met...lifelong friends, former castmates that I run into down at Henry's, and most important, true love. My husband did, after all, meet me at an audition, fell in love with me during rehearsals, had our first kiss backstage, proposed to me onstage after a show, even got married on a theatre stage. Theatre is what has brought the most important people into my life.
So, on this anniversary of William Shakespeare's death, and what is apparently also been dubbed "Hug an actor/techie/theatre geek Day", I wish to thank all of my fellow theatre junkies for giving me so many new experiences and new friendships. Break-a-leg to all of my fellow castmates tonight and to all of the other actors and techies taking to a stage this weekend. Before the lights go down and the curtain goes up, remember what it is that makes you love this so much.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Busy, busy
Rehearsals are going well and will start to pick up next week. Show is in three weeks. Not doing too bad on the British accent, but really need to practice it for consistency. We partially rehearsed the murder scene tonight. Now, just to see if I can get through it without actually killing my fellow actor OR myself. This coming from a person who dropped a pound of frozen hamburger on her toe and thought I had broken it tonight. Why do your toes have so many nerve endings to cause such horrible and intense pain when you drop something on them???
Maya starts Spring Break tomorrow. I'm taking some days off so we can spend time together. Planning on going to a movie, seeing friends, Spring cleaning, etc. As long as the weather continues to be nice, I should be able to keep her occupied without either one of us going completely insane. Hubby informed me that he will be taking her with him next Wednesday to a friend's house for a playdate, so I get the house TO MY SELF for most of the day. Hallelujah!
Maya starts Spring Break tomorrow. I'm taking some days off so we can spend time together. Planning on going to a movie, seeing friends, Spring cleaning, etc. As long as the weather continues to be nice, I should be able to keep her occupied without either one of us going completely insane. Hubby informed me that he will be taking her with him next Wednesday to a friend's house for a playdate, so I get the house TO MY SELF for most of the day. Hallelujah!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Twist of fate
So, apparently, when you yell "Crap" in the middle of an audition, you don't get a part. Who knew??? So, as I stated on my audition form that I wouldn't accept a chorus role, I received an email earlier this week stating that I didn't get a solo, thanks for auditioning, etc. Funny thing...I happened to be on the phone with a friend of mine as I opened the email and told her the news. She mentioned that another theater had just had auditions for a show, but didn't have any women audition. Interesting...so I emailed the director and asked if he was still looking for someone. He had me come in the next day to read. And I got the part.
Moral of the story? I have no idea. But what an interesting fate of events, don't you think?
I'll be playing the role of Margot in "Dial M for Murder". I didn't know anything about the show before I read for it, except for what I found online about the movie. I am the only female in the cast. My husband in the show (played by an actor who has previously played my husband on stage!) hires someone to kill me, when things go horribly wrong, and my character ends up killing the would-be murderer. You'll have to rent the movie or come see the show to find out the rest. I guess I need to start working on my screams...and a British accent.
Moral of the story? I have no idea. But what an interesting fate of events, don't you think?
I'll be playing the role of Margot in "Dial M for Murder". I didn't know anything about the show before I read for it, except for what I found online about the movie. I am the only female in the cast. My husband in the show (played by an actor who has previously played my husband on stage!) hires someone to kill me, when things go horribly wrong, and my character ends up killing the would-be murderer. You'll have to rent the movie or come see the show to find out the rest. I guess I need to start working on my screams...and a British accent.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
"I'm beginning to be able to play ingénues"
There's this great movie called "Illuminata" about a theatre repertory company at the turn of the 20th Century. Susan Sarandon plays this self-absorbed actress, and while looking at a much younger, female thespian, she says, "Someday I shall look like that. I'm beginning to be able to play ingénues." The joke is that her character is obviously above 40. I've always loved that line!
Tonight, I say it in jest. Because while at my audition tonight, I realized I was the THIRD OLDEST woman in the room. I have been doing theatre longer than many of the girls in that room have been alive. I couldn't believe how old I felt. It also didn't help that after sitting in uncomfortable chairs for over an hour, we had to get up and do some movement...and my back hurt! I am old! No matter what Dennis says in Monty Python and the Holy Grail ("I'm 37, I'm not old!")
So, while I've taken small breaks from performing over the years, my competition has gotten younger and younger. It only makes it worse when they're all so damn talented!
How did my audition go? Well, if yelling the word "Crap" three measures into my vocal audition and asking the pianist to start again because I started to sing the wrong words is considered a success, then I was FULL of success! Not to mention the fact that I was literally shaking from top to bottom with nervousness (I've been doing theatre for 23 years, but vocal auditions ALWAYS make me extremely nervous.) It's moments like these that I'm just glad I've worked with the directors before and they know that I actually do know how to sing and memorize words.
Now the wait begins. That's the worst part. I keep my cell phone with me at all times and my heart starts to race every time it rings. No matter how long I've been doing this, that anticipation of "did I make it or not" never goes away either. We'll see...
Tonight, I say it in jest. Because while at my audition tonight, I realized I was the THIRD OLDEST woman in the room. I have been doing theatre longer than many of the girls in that room have been alive. I couldn't believe how old I felt. It also didn't help that after sitting in uncomfortable chairs for over an hour, we had to get up and do some movement...and my back hurt! I am old! No matter what Dennis says in Monty Python and the Holy Grail ("I'm 37, I'm not old!")
So, while I've taken small breaks from performing over the years, my competition has gotten younger and younger. It only makes it worse when they're all so damn talented!
How did my audition go? Well, if yelling the word "Crap" three measures into my vocal audition and asking the pianist to start again because I started to sing the wrong words is considered a success, then I was FULL of success! Not to mention the fact that I was literally shaking from top to bottom with nervousness (I've been doing theatre for 23 years, but vocal auditions ALWAYS make me extremely nervous.) It's moments like these that I'm just glad I've worked with the directors before and they know that I actually do know how to sing and memorize words.
Now the wait begins. That's the worst part. I keep my cell phone with me at all times and my heart starts to race every time it rings. No matter how long I've been doing this, that anticipation of "did I make it or not" never goes away either. We'll see...
Friday, March 5, 2010
My 'not-so-little' little girl
Tomorrow is Maya's 6th birthday. Where has the time gone? I know where it's gone...to my achy joints and gray hairs! But seriously, this child is so wise and mature beyond her years it's scary. Most days I feel like I'm talking to a teenager and not a kindergartner.
Last night we took her to Build-a-bear to let her pick one out for her birthday. She, of course, chose the iCarly bear (how many 5/6 year olds are watching this tween show???) I let her pick out an outfit and an accessory. She chose a wig. Can I just say how creepy it is to see this purple glittery teddy bear wearing a brown wig? But she has a new best friend, so whatever makes her happy, right?
On a totally different topic, I've gone against something I declared a few months ago, and I'm auditioning for a show this Sunday. I really want to get back onstage. Again, I won't be terribly upset if I don't make it, but I think it would be a lot of fun. Now, if only I can choose an audition song...
Last night we took her to Build-a-bear to let her pick one out for her birthday. She, of course, chose the iCarly bear (how many 5/6 year olds are watching this tween show???) I let her pick out an outfit and an accessory. She chose a wig. Can I just say how creepy it is to see this purple glittery teddy bear wearing a brown wig? But she has a new best friend, so whatever makes her happy, right?
On a totally different topic, I've gone against something I declared a few months ago, and I'm auditioning for a show this Sunday. I really want to get back onstage. Again, I won't be terribly upset if I don't make it, but I think it would be a lot of fun. Now, if only I can choose an audition song...
Sunday, February 21, 2010
New Year's Resolutions - still in effect?
I really am trying hard to not give up on my New Year's Resolutions. Things have been crazy for us all over the past few weeks, so making new dinners and all of us sitting at the table hasn't happened much. I tried making a dish last week, but was sorely disappointed in it. Tonight, however, I was planning on making a chicken dish, but dear husband said he was tired of chicken (okay, so I use it a lot, but it's easier to cook!) He suggested some cube steaks or other type of beef. So at the grocery, I picked up some cube steak, with no idea on how to prepare it. They sounded boring to me, like not quite hamburger, not quite steak. Somewhere in between.
I get new ideas from allrecipes.com so I went there for suggestions. I found this recipe called "Berdean's cube steak" that got rave reviews! Luckily, I didn't wait until the last minute, because the recipe called for it to cook for two hours! So I followed the directions with just a few small modifications, and in the oven it went. Hubby had bought some asparagus the other day. He likes it plain and steamed, I like it with a bit more flavor. So I steamed half of it and pan-fried the other with olive oil, butter and minced garlic. I also bought some red potatoes today, but since I was using the oven at a low temp for the meat, I couldn't roast them as I would have liked. So I decided to microwave them as someone on that website suggested. Drizzled them with olive oil and some seasoning salt, and they were done in 15 minutes.
When the meat came out, the recipe called for using the drippings in the pan as a base for a gravy by adding flour and milk. Now, this recipe didn't give me specific instructions on how much flour and gravy. So I guessed. Just a small handful of flour and a dash of milk. Whisked it all up. And it was delicious!
The family was happy, and I was happy to have a success under my belt!
As for spending more time with family, we're doing a better job. Tonight we all sat at the dinner table. That's only been happening about once a week lately. But hubby decided we needed a family game night this week, so Tuesday, I'll be making my favorite for dinner, beef and noodles, and we'll play Harry Potter Clue. Should be fun!
I am just WAITING for the weather to warm up to start on a major home improvement project. Still at the top of the list is the landscaping in the front of our house, and also our kitchen (floors, walls, maybe counter.) I am gung ho to get started!
Samantha
I get new ideas from allrecipes.com so I went there for suggestions. I found this recipe called "Berdean's cube steak" that got rave reviews! Luckily, I didn't wait until the last minute, because the recipe called for it to cook for two hours! So I followed the directions with just a few small modifications, and in the oven it went. Hubby had bought some asparagus the other day. He likes it plain and steamed, I like it with a bit more flavor. So I steamed half of it and pan-fried the other with olive oil, butter and minced garlic. I also bought some red potatoes today, but since I was using the oven at a low temp for the meat, I couldn't roast them as I would have liked. So I decided to microwave them as someone on that website suggested. Drizzled them with olive oil and some seasoning salt, and they were done in 15 minutes.
When the meat came out, the recipe called for using the drippings in the pan as a base for a gravy by adding flour and milk. Now, this recipe didn't give me specific instructions on how much flour and gravy. So I guessed. Just a small handful of flour and a dash of milk. Whisked it all up. And it was delicious!
The family was happy, and I was happy to have a success under my belt!
As for spending more time with family, we're doing a better job. Tonight we all sat at the dinner table. That's only been happening about once a week lately. But hubby decided we needed a family game night this week, so Tuesday, I'll be making my favorite for dinner, beef and noodles, and we'll play Harry Potter Clue. Should be fun!
I am just WAITING for the weather to warm up to start on a major home improvement project. Still at the top of the list is the landscaping in the front of our house, and also our kitchen (floors, walls, maybe counter.) I am gung ho to get started!
Samantha
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Gung Hee Fatt Choi!
Happy Chinese New Year! Yes, it's also Valentine's Day. We're trying to instill an appreciation for Chinese culture into Maya, but the kid is more excited about Valentine's Day and the chocolates, cards, treats, etc., than she is in her birth culture. Shocking, I know, that a six-year-old would pick candy over culture! But we'll be heading to our favorite Chinese restaurant for lunch today and celebrating (post-haste) her Gotcha Day and CNY with friends and family.
I haven't been on my blog much because I just got my computer back this week after a three-week hiatus. The hard drive took a dump on me (second time for a Dell to do this to me) and a friend of mine was able to get all of the data off of it and install it all back on a new one. It's nice to be able to sit here in bed again typing away without feeling guilty asking to borrow my husband's.
We've had some other recent challenges come up, but as they say, new opportunities can arise from challenges (not sure if anyone has ever really said that, but it sounds good.) My husband lost his full-time job last month. I won't go into any details, but it was a blow to both his character and our finances. He still has his two part-time jobs which will bring in some much needed money over the next few months. But the question is, can we afford to take the next step in moving forward with our plan we've been talking about for four years?
He and I would like to start our own theatre/entertainment production company. I joked that I have the brains and he has the brawn (or talent, if you will.) With my business/marketing background and his design/directing background, I think we have what it takes to run a production company. We're talking not only producing theatrical productions, but also hiring him out for set/light design, directing, teaching/workshops, etc. I have some great ideas for some cabaret nights. It could be a really fun and exciting venture.
But that stupid thing called money always gets in the way. What can we do that will have small up-front costs, but still give us seed money to continue another project? How can we fit in running this business while I have a full-time job? Will he be able to make enough from his other work to help keep the bills paid? So many uncertainties and questions.
I decided to put all of this ranting in with the Chinese New Year post for one reason - celebrating Chinese New Year is believed to bring you luck and prosperity in the coming year. And we're going to need all we can get! So, I will wear red today, we will all wish each other "Gung Hee Fatt Choi" which loosely translated in our daughter's Hakka culture to mean "Congratulations and be prosperous" and we will see what challenges we can overcome this new year.
I haven't been on my blog much because I just got my computer back this week after a three-week hiatus. The hard drive took a dump on me (second time for a Dell to do this to me) and a friend of mine was able to get all of the data off of it and install it all back on a new one. It's nice to be able to sit here in bed again typing away without feeling guilty asking to borrow my husband's.
We've had some other recent challenges come up, but as they say, new opportunities can arise from challenges (not sure if anyone has ever really said that, but it sounds good.) My husband lost his full-time job last month. I won't go into any details, but it was a blow to both his character and our finances. He still has his two part-time jobs which will bring in some much needed money over the next few months. But the question is, can we afford to take the next step in moving forward with our plan we've been talking about for four years?
He and I would like to start our own theatre/entertainment production company. I joked that I have the brains and he has the brawn (or talent, if you will.) With my business/marketing background and his design/directing background, I think we have what it takes to run a production company. We're talking not only producing theatrical productions, but also hiring him out for set/light design, directing, teaching/workshops, etc. I have some great ideas for some cabaret nights. It could be a really fun and exciting venture.
But that stupid thing called money always gets in the way. What can we do that will have small up-front costs, but still give us seed money to continue another project? How can we fit in running this business while I have a full-time job? Will he be able to make enough from his other work to help keep the bills paid? So many uncertainties and questions.
I decided to put all of this ranting in with the Chinese New Year post for one reason - celebrating Chinese New Year is believed to bring you luck and prosperity in the coming year. And we're going to need all we can get! So, I will wear red today, we will all wish each other "Gung Hee Fatt Choi" which loosely translated in our daughter's Hakka culture to mean "Congratulations and be prosperous" and we will see what challenges we can overcome this new year.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Patience is a virtue - that I lack thereof
I am not a patient person. I know this.
My daughter is learning to read, as most kindergartners are doing at this time of the school year. She has made a huge leap in the past few weeks, but still has issues with a few of her letters. I understand that learning to read is a slow and long process for many. Those of us who've been doing it for decades, and can't remember what it was like when we were five, can take it for granted. How can you NOT know that the word is "sat"?
As my daughter tries to read to me and struggles with a word, I ask two things of her. If she doesn't know it, then spell the letters in the word. Second, try to sound it out with the sounds that those letters make. This must not be the way that she learns, because it isn't working between mother and daughter. I am trying SO HARD to be patient. I simply am not one to teach young children. I've taught college courses for several years, so I do know what it's like to teach. But apparently, I am not cut out for teaching children to read.
I want to support my daughter and help her AS MUCH as I can. But I don't know how. I don't know how to get over my impatience and frustration with the slow and tedious process of trying to get your brain to work out some letters and sounds in your head. It's like when I am learning new choreography for a show. I need to be shown the steps multiple times. I need to count out the steps to the beat of the music. I need to rehearse it frequently in order to get it to stick in my brain. I KNOW this takes time, and I get easily frustrated with myself when I just can't get it. So now, I feel like THE worst mother at this moment. What kind of mom yells at her kids for not knowing what sound an "s" makes, when she herself knows the challenges of learning something new?
Once again, more proof that not all mothers are built to be the stay-at-home, home-schooling kind. If I were, I would certainly be graded with an F.
My daughter is learning to read, as most kindergartners are doing at this time of the school year. She has made a huge leap in the past few weeks, but still has issues with a few of her letters. I understand that learning to read is a slow and long process for many. Those of us who've been doing it for decades, and can't remember what it was like when we were five, can take it for granted. How can you NOT know that the word is "sat"?
As my daughter tries to read to me and struggles with a word, I ask two things of her. If she doesn't know it, then spell the letters in the word. Second, try to sound it out with the sounds that those letters make. This must not be the way that she learns, because it isn't working between mother and daughter. I am trying SO HARD to be patient. I simply am not one to teach young children. I've taught college courses for several years, so I do know what it's like to teach. But apparently, I am not cut out for teaching children to read.
I want to support my daughter and help her AS MUCH as I can. But I don't know how. I don't know how to get over my impatience and frustration with the slow and tedious process of trying to get your brain to work out some letters and sounds in your head. It's like when I am learning new choreography for a show. I need to be shown the steps multiple times. I need to count out the steps to the beat of the music. I need to rehearse it frequently in order to get it to stick in my brain. I KNOW this takes time, and I get easily frustrated with myself when I just can't get it. So now, I feel like THE worst mother at this moment. What kind of mom yells at her kids for not knowing what sound an "s" makes, when she herself knows the challenges of learning something new?
Once again, more proof that not all mothers are built to be the stay-at-home, home-schooling kind. If I were, I would certainly be graded with an F.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Five years ago, I looked into the eyes of my future.
Today is the five year anniversary of Maya's adoption day from China. Here is my account of that fateful day.
Five years ago today, we were sitting in the Jiangxi Adoption affairs office, waiting for the girls to arrive...when I realized I forgot the paperwork! HOW COULD I FORGET THE PAPERWORK??!!!?? My husband stared at me in disbelief...ME, the anal-retentive, organized, got it all together ME had forgotton to bring the paperwork! What did he expect, I was getting ready to give birth!!!!!!!!
SO, after about 10 minutes of TOTALLY freaking out that they wouldn't give me my baby, Joel talked to our guide and he said it would be fine. After all, I did remember to bring my passport so I had SOME form of identification. But I was in tears prior to being handed my daughter for all the wrong reasons! I, of course, can laugh about it now, but what a horrible feeling!
The girls arrived after we waited about 20 minutes. They were carried into the room, all in gorgeous matching quilted red jackets and black pants. They were all flush with red cheeks. All quiet and calm for just having endured a four hour bus ride. Would I recognize her when I saw her? Could I pick her out of just four girls lined up?? Of course I could, my beautiful daughter! I always hated having a last name near the end of the alphabet. We had to wait until last to hold our child. But what is a few seconds of wait when I had just endured years of waiting for my wonderful daughter.
She was very inquisitive. She came to me easily - just looking around, holding tight to her name tag and looking at it with wonder and awe. Looking at me with less excitement than that inanimate object. I handed her to her daddy. She gave him the strangest look, like "You're kidding, right? You're my dad? Well, okay." That picture is still my favorite.
She was calm on the way back to the hotel, calm when we sat her down, calm when we took off her outer layer. Joel tried to engage her first. I just watched her. She gave us each one slight grin, giving us hope. Then all hell broke loose. She cried and cried and cried.What a horrible, but yet beautiful sound. My daughter...grieving, yes, but MY daughter. How I had waited to hear that cry. Every ounce of power in it. She was truly mine.
She is still my beautiful, moody, intelligent, stubborn, dramatic, loving little spitfire. She is all I could ever have imagined and ten times more. What a wonderful day to celebrate.
Happy Gotcha Day to my Maya Grace MinXuan.
Five years ago today, we were sitting in the Jiangxi Adoption affairs office, waiting for the girls to arrive...when I realized I forgot the paperwork! HOW COULD I FORGET THE PAPERWORK??!!!?? My husband stared at me in disbelief...ME, the anal-retentive, organized, got it all together ME had forgotton to bring the paperwork! What did he expect, I was getting ready to give birth!!!!!!!!
SO, after about 10 minutes of TOTALLY freaking out that they wouldn't give me my baby, Joel talked to our guide and he said it would be fine. After all, I did remember to bring my passport so I had SOME form of identification. But I was in tears prior to being handed my daughter for all the wrong reasons! I, of course, can laugh about it now, but what a horrible feeling!
The girls arrived after we waited about 20 minutes. They were carried into the room, all in gorgeous matching quilted red jackets and black pants. They were all flush with red cheeks. All quiet and calm for just having endured a four hour bus ride. Would I recognize her when I saw her? Could I pick her out of just four girls lined up?? Of course I could, my beautiful daughter! I always hated having a last name near the end of the alphabet. We had to wait until last to hold our child. But what is a few seconds of wait when I had just endured years of waiting for my wonderful daughter.
She was very inquisitive. She came to me easily - just looking around, holding tight to her name tag and looking at it with wonder and awe. Looking at me with less excitement than that inanimate object. I handed her to her daddy. She gave him the strangest look, like "You're kidding, right? You're my dad? Well, okay." That picture is still my favorite.
She was calm on the way back to the hotel, calm when we sat her down, calm when we took off her outer layer. Joel tried to engage her first. I just watched her. She gave us each one slight grin, giving us hope. Then all hell broke loose. She cried and cried and cried.What a horrible, but yet beautiful sound. My daughter...grieving, yes, but MY daughter. How I had waited to hear that cry. Every ounce of power in it. She was truly mine.
She is still my beautiful, moody, intelligent, stubborn, dramatic, loving little spitfire. She is all I could ever have imagined and ten times more. What a wonderful day to celebrate.
Happy Gotcha Day to my Maya Grace MinXuan.
Monday, January 18, 2010
It sucks getting old.
I probably shouldn't announce this to the world...or at least to the two people that read this blog, but I'm in perimenopause. And it sucks.
Two years ago, when I was 35, I started experiencing these weird changes. Excessive moodiness (more than usual) and irritability, sleep issues, joint pain and swelling, problems thinking and concentrating. I thought I was going nuts. I felt like I was losing my mind and my sanity started to wane. Then one day my dear husband said "I think I know what's wrong with you," and I asked him "what?". He says, "I think you're perimenopausal." Now, being a woman, I should have known what that meant, but I didn't. He said he had been searching online for my symptoms and came across this. I immediately went online and checked it out. Once I read the symptoms and recognized so many of them, I started to cry. For two reasons. One, I was finally happy to learn that I was not going completely insane, but that there was a reason for all of my recent problems. And number two, I cried because I was too young to be entering this phase.
I talked with my mother and she reminded me that she had issues at my age and had a full hysterectomy at age 35. My grandmother also experienced many issues in her 30s. Apparently, it's genetic. Handed down by the women before me. I made an appointment with my doctor and told her of my self-diagnosis. After listening to all I had to say, she agreed that it was more than likely perimenopause, but didn't want to waste the time on testing. She told me she could treat all of my symptoms individually, but there wasn't much more to do for it. I told her I would just wait it out and see what progressed.
About that time, I decided to go off the birth control pill. I didn't need it for birth control purposes, and I only used it to regulate, well, for the guys reading this blog, my monthly visitor. But it gave me migraines as well, so I stopped. In the past year and a half the perimenopausal symptoms come and go, but do seem to have gotton worse over the last several months. I have always had a fair amount of stress in my life, and actually thrive on it at times. But when my mood goes from happy, to pissed off, to depressed, and when my head aches for days on end, or when I just feel like crawling under a blanket and hiding from the world, I know that I can't take it much more. Nor can my family. Luckily, my husband has been pretty understanding. I can't always recognize my symptoms until after I've screamed at the whole house, or thrown my cell phone across the room, or kicked something. But when I'm calm and blame it on the hormones, I think he can agree that I should probably seek help.
I want to try vitamins and herbal remedies first, but want to see my doctor to review what amounts and types would be best. I have a great book of knowledge about perimenopause and have tried to follow along with some of it, but think that I need a more informed opinion about where to go from here. For my sanity, and for the sake of my marriage and motherhood.
Two years ago, when I was 35, I started experiencing these weird changes. Excessive moodiness (more than usual) and irritability, sleep issues, joint pain and swelling, problems thinking and concentrating. I thought I was going nuts. I felt like I was losing my mind and my sanity started to wane. Then one day my dear husband said "I think I know what's wrong with you," and I asked him "what?". He says, "I think you're perimenopausal." Now, being a woman, I should have known what that meant, but I didn't. He said he had been searching online for my symptoms and came across this. I immediately went online and checked it out. Once I read the symptoms and recognized so many of them, I started to cry. For two reasons. One, I was finally happy to learn that I was not going completely insane, but that there was a reason for all of my recent problems. And number two, I cried because I was too young to be entering this phase.
I talked with my mother and she reminded me that she had issues at my age and had a full hysterectomy at age 35. My grandmother also experienced many issues in her 30s. Apparently, it's genetic. Handed down by the women before me. I made an appointment with my doctor and told her of my self-diagnosis. After listening to all I had to say, she agreed that it was more than likely perimenopause, but didn't want to waste the time on testing. She told me she could treat all of my symptoms individually, but there wasn't much more to do for it. I told her I would just wait it out and see what progressed.
About that time, I decided to go off the birth control pill. I didn't need it for birth control purposes, and I only used it to regulate, well, for the guys reading this blog, my monthly visitor. But it gave me migraines as well, so I stopped. In the past year and a half the perimenopausal symptoms come and go, but do seem to have gotton worse over the last several months. I have always had a fair amount of stress in my life, and actually thrive on it at times. But when my mood goes from happy, to pissed off, to depressed, and when my head aches for days on end, or when I just feel like crawling under a blanket and hiding from the world, I know that I can't take it much more. Nor can my family. Luckily, my husband has been pretty understanding. I can't always recognize my symptoms until after I've screamed at the whole house, or thrown my cell phone across the room, or kicked something. But when I'm calm and blame it on the hormones, I think he can agree that I should probably seek help.
I want to try vitamins and herbal remedies first, but want to see my doctor to review what amounts and types would be best. I have a great book of knowledge about perimenopause and have tried to follow along with some of it, but think that I need a more informed opinion about where to go from here. For my sanity, and for the sake of my marriage and motherhood.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
10 days in...
So we're not quite two weeks in to the new year, and I've had some minor success with my resolutions. I beleive in the last ten days, my family has sat down at the table together about 3 or 4 times. Seriously, that's a record with my family. Due to crazy schedules, we've been lucky to sit down all together about twice a month. I have tried some new ways to prepare dishes, but haven't totally dived into new recipes just yet. I'm clipping out interesting recipes from some of my magazines. Also found a great article on what items you should always keep stocked in your pantry. In probably another week or two I hope to be able to spend some time at the grocery looking it all up. It is nice that I can 'kill two birds with one stone' by learning to cook. It does bring us together as a family. While our table conversations could improve, at least we're making the effort!
We took down the rest of our holiday decorations this weekend. It's nice to get my living room back! Our living room has been my space for awhile now. Two summers ago, I repainted and bought new furniture to make it my room. I enjoy curling up on my chair with my blanket and reading a good book. Once the holiday stuff was down, it was nice to be able to do that again.
I still have projects I need to work on. I am working on Maya's 2009 photo book and once I get all the pics from my hubby and stepdaughter (I leave it to them to take the photos - I suck at it.), I can get that ordered. I am also hoping to work on her Tonggu photo book. When Spring arrives, time to relandscape the front of our house! I know NOTHING about plants, flowers, landscaping, etc. I only know how happy my tulips make me when they bloom in early Spring. I'll definitely need to educate myself before deciding how to change it.
We took down the rest of our holiday decorations this weekend. It's nice to get my living room back! Our living room has been my space for awhile now. Two summers ago, I repainted and bought new furniture to make it my room. I enjoy curling up on my chair with my blanket and reading a good book. Once the holiday stuff was down, it was nice to be able to do that again.
I still have projects I need to work on. I am working on Maya's 2009 photo book and once I get all the pics from my hubby and stepdaughter (I leave it to them to take the photos - I suck at it.), I can get that ordered. I am also hoping to work on her Tonggu photo book. When Spring arrives, time to relandscape the front of our house! I know NOTHING about plants, flowers, landscaping, etc. I only know how happy my tulips make me when they bloom in early Spring. I'll definitely need to educate myself before deciding how to change it.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Bittersweet thoughts
Tonight is the audition for "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" at a local theater. I've done this show before, WAY back in 1996. I had always said that if I auditioned for it again, I would audition only for the lead - the narrator. In fact, since they announced the show, I've been thinking of and preparing for this audition. But due to my decision to take a break from the stage, I won't be there tonight. A bit upset, but know that getting the role would have been a longshot anyway. I do still stand firm behind my decision, even if it means giving up the chance to play a role I've always wanted to.
However, the break WILL do me good. I have a roast in the crockpot now. Planning on making my famous beef and noodles along with potatoes (haven't decided how to prepare them yet) and roasted asparagus (something I've never done before - I normally just steam them.) We'll see how it turns out. Glad I have some wine leftover from the Holidays. The Christmas break has been good, but have a VERY heavy work week ahead.
However, the break WILL do me good. I have a roast in the crockpot now. Planning on making my famous beef and noodles along with potatoes (haven't decided how to prepare them yet) and roasted asparagus (something I've never done before - I normally just steam them.) We'll see how it turns out. Glad I have some wine leftover from the Holidays. The Christmas break has been good, but have a VERY heavy work week ahead.
Friday, January 1, 2010
New Year's Resolutions
New Year's Resolutions
#1 - Learn To Cook
I am the queen of convenience meals. I can make some mean tacos, some decent spaghetti, and a pretty good beef stew. Of course, all my ingredients are mainly pre-packaged, pre-mixed, pre-cooked, etc. My most proud meal is the beef and noodles recipe I learned from my grandmother. There really is nothing more satisfying than putting a roast into the crock pot with some water, seasoning salt, and ground cloves, to cook all day. But I need to do more. We need to start making healthier choices as a family. With our more relaxed schedule, there is NO reason we can't all sit down to the dinner table as a family most nights of the week. So, I will learn to cook. I will find more ways of preparing chicken. I will explore different types of fish. I will learn to saute, roast, simmer, and grill. We will eat more vegetables. We will eat less high fructose corn syrup.
#2 - Finish one major home improvement project
I really am relying on my husband to help me accomplish this. There are many things we need to do to our home if we ever hope to sell it for a reasonable profit. I have many choices and projects in mind: re-landscape the front area of our house; paint and put down new floors in our kitchen; put down a new floor in our family room. Those are the big three. Since I really do enjoy spreadsheets and planning, my mission is to price all of the materials needed for these projects, estimate the time it will take to accomplish, and the supposed addition to the resale value of our home. Who knows, maybe we'll be inspired to do all three!
#3 - Spend more time with my family
This goes without saying, since I've already made the decision to step off stage for several months. Maya needs more work on her reading and letter recognition. My husband needs more attention from his wife. My stepkids need someone to take more interest in their activities and lives.
I haven't made resolutions in several years. Seriously, who does anymore? Or at least stick to them? But if there was ever a time that changes needed to be made in my life, it's now. By writing them down, by owning up to them now and in the face of what I assume to be just a few readers, perhaps I will have more motivation to accomplish it all. Only time will tell. Hey, I have 12 months, right?
#1 - Learn To Cook
I am the queen of convenience meals. I can make some mean tacos, some decent spaghetti, and a pretty good beef stew. Of course, all my ingredients are mainly pre-packaged, pre-mixed, pre-cooked, etc. My most proud meal is the beef and noodles recipe I learned from my grandmother. There really is nothing more satisfying than putting a roast into the crock pot with some water, seasoning salt, and ground cloves, to cook all day. But I need to do more. We need to start making healthier choices as a family. With our more relaxed schedule, there is NO reason we can't all sit down to the dinner table as a family most nights of the week. So, I will learn to cook. I will find more ways of preparing chicken. I will explore different types of fish. I will learn to saute, roast, simmer, and grill. We will eat more vegetables. We will eat less high fructose corn syrup.
#2 - Finish one major home improvement project
I really am relying on my husband to help me accomplish this. There are many things we need to do to our home if we ever hope to sell it for a reasonable profit. I have many choices and projects in mind: re-landscape the front area of our house; paint and put down new floors in our kitchen; put down a new floor in our family room. Those are the big three. Since I really do enjoy spreadsheets and planning, my mission is to price all of the materials needed for these projects, estimate the time it will take to accomplish, and the supposed addition to the resale value of our home. Who knows, maybe we'll be inspired to do all three!
#3 - Spend more time with my family
This goes without saying, since I've already made the decision to step off stage for several months. Maya needs more work on her reading and letter recognition. My husband needs more attention from his wife. My stepkids need someone to take more interest in their activities and lives.
I haven't made resolutions in several years. Seriously, who does anymore? Or at least stick to them? But if there was ever a time that changes needed to be made in my life, it's now. By writing them down, by owning up to them now and in the face of what I assume to be just a few readers, perhaps I will have more motivation to accomplish it all. Only time will tell. Hey, I have 12 months, right?
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