It sucks getting old.

I probably shouldn't announce this to the world...or at least to the two people that read this blog, but I'm in perimenopause. And it sucks.

Two years ago, when I was 35, I started experiencing these weird changes. Excessive moodiness (more than usual) and irritability, sleep issues, joint pain and swelling, problems thinking and concentrating. I thought I was going nuts. I felt like I was losing my mind and my sanity started to wane. Then one day my dear husband said "I think I know what's wrong with you," and I asked him "what?". He says, "I think you're perimenopausal." Now, being a woman, I should have known what that meant, but I didn't. He said he had been searching online for my symptoms and came across this. I immediately went online and checked it out. Once I read the symptoms and recognized so many of them, I started to cry. For two reasons. One, I was finally happy to learn that I was not going completely insane, but that there was a reason for all of my recent problems. And number two, I cried because I was too young to be entering this phase.

I talked with my mother and she reminded me that she had issues at my age and had a full hysterectomy at age 35. My grandmother also experienced many issues in her 30s. Apparently, it's genetic. Handed down by the women before me. I made an appointment with my doctor and told her of my self-diagnosis. After listening to all I had to say, she agreed that it was more than likely perimenopause, but didn't want to waste the time on testing. She told me she could treat all of my symptoms individually, but there wasn't much more to do for it. I told her I would just wait it out and see what progressed.

About that time, I decided to go off the birth control pill. I didn't need it for birth control purposes, and I only used it to regulate, well, for the guys reading this blog, my monthly visitor. But it gave me migraines as well, so I stopped. In the past year and a half the perimenopausal symptoms come and go, but do seem to have gotton worse over the last several months. I have always had a fair amount of stress in my life, and actually thrive on it at times. But when my mood goes from happy, to pissed off, to depressed, and when my head aches for days on end, or when I just feel like crawling under a blanket and hiding from the world, I know that I can't take it much more. Nor can my family. Luckily, my husband has been pretty understanding. I can't always recognize my symptoms until after I've screamed at the whole house, or thrown my cell phone across the room, or kicked something. But when I'm calm and blame it on the hormones, I think he can agree that I should probably seek help.

I want to try vitamins and herbal remedies first, but want to see my doctor to review what amounts and types would be best. I have a great book of knowledge about perimenopause and have tried to follow along with some of it, but think that I need a more informed opinion about where to go from here. For my sanity, and for the sake of my marriage and motherhood.