The biggest challenge of my life

I didn't expect this move would be easy. I knew it would probably be the hardest thing to do in my life to date. This move didn't just affect me. It affected my family, my friends, my co-workers. It's days like today when I'm sitting in bed, feeling under the weather, as I have all week, and just feeling very lonely. Maya has been struggling with the change. I took her away from her friends and family, and she's finding it hard to fit in. While I have a great support system back home, it's hard to call on that from 1200 miles away.

But despite the challenges, I knew the move should happen. Although some might think I was selfish for accepting a new job in another state, and breaking apart my family for a year, but I still do believe that it was the right decision. There are nothing but opportunities for all of us. I know Maya doesn't see that now, but they are there. My husband has so many new choices for work out here. I know that I have growth potential in this community for my career. But on days like today, it feels like a really stupid idea.

I don't expect I'll feel maudlin like this all the time. But it's been a week without my husband (the longest we've gone without seeing each other is two weeks.), it's been a week of immense challenges for my daughter at school. It's been a week of trying to fit in myself in a new work environment. And it doesn't help that my body is still trying to get used to this altitude and air, and is revolting against it.

I was going to try some retail therapy today. A few new clothes for Fall (which doesn't seem to be coming with the 80 degree temps). But perhaps just a 'lay in bed and read' type of day is in order. Maya seems content to watch movies all day. Maybe I just need a day to recoup, reset, and remind myself why I made this move and this major life decision.

Coming to you LIVE from Colorado!

Well, perhaps not LIVE, since you are reading this after I've posted. But anyway, we're in Denver! I started my new job last Monday. Maya started her new school the day after. Hubby stayed here through yesterday when he flew home. So, this is it. We're on our own for awhile. Since hubby's departure yesterday, I've tried to keep Maya entertained. We went to the pool yesterday (our condo complex has one, luckily). We had 'girls night in' last night by watching movies and eating junk food. Today we went to the Denver Zoo and then this evening went to play in her school playground. I hope that soon we'll develop a nice rhythm so that she can get some stability back in her life.

She did ask my yesterday why I took her away from home. That was hard to hear. It's hard to explain to a 6-year-old how major life decisions such as relocating can actually be a good thing in the end. Yes, it's hard to live apart as a family. Yes, it will be hard to make new friends. But I would not have moved her all the way out here if I didn't believe that this will be a good move for us in the long run.

I believe my new job will get even busier starting this week. I move into my new office tomorrow (hopefully) and will hit the ground running after last week's more introductory phase. There's a lot of great things to work on and accomplish and it's exciting to start a new challenge.

As for the 'diva' part of me, theater will have to be on hold at least until next summer. As a 'single parent' temporarily, I have no support system out here to allow me to do a show. It will be tough, but I've gone longer between shows. I've also thought about living through my daughter and having her sign up for some youth theatre programs.

So, here's to new challenges and opportunities. And to keeping my sanity...