"I'm beginning to be able to play ingénues"

There's this great movie called "Illuminata" about a theatre repertory company at the turn of the 20th Century. Susan Sarandon plays this self-absorbed actress, and while looking at a much younger, female thespian, she says, "Someday I shall look like that. I'm beginning to be able to play ingénues." The joke is that her character is obviously above 40. I've always loved that line!

Tonight, I say it in jest. Because while at my audition tonight, I realized I was the THIRD OLDEST woman in the room. I have been doing theatre longer than many of the girls in that room have been alive. I couldn't believe how old I felt. It also didn't help that after sitting in uncomfortable chairs for over an hour, we had to get up and do some movement...and my back hurt! I am old! No matter what Dennis says in Monty Python and the Holy Grail ("I'm 37, I'm not old!")

So, while I've taken small breaks from performing over the years, my competition has gotten younger and younger. It only makes it worse when they're all so damn talented!

How did my audition go? Well, if yelling the word "Crap" three measures into my vocal audition and asking the pianist to start again because I started to sing the wrong words is considered a success, then I was FULL of success! Not to mention the fact that I was literally shaking from top to bottom with nervousness (I've been doing theatre for 23 years, but vocal auditions ALWAYS make me extremely nervous.) It's moments like these that I'm just glad I've worked with the directors before and they know that I actually do know how to sing and memorize words.

Now the wait begins. That's the worst part. I keep my cell phone with me at all times and my heart starts to race every time it rings. No matter how long I've been doing this, that anticipation of "did I make it or not" never goes away either. We'll see...