Maybe I should just hire a sitter?

As someone who works in, performs in, and enjoys attending the arts, it can be a challenge to do all the things I want to (and need to) without feeling the guilt of having my child spend evenings with friends or family while I'm out gallavanting around town. This past Saturday, I had to work one of our events, and I invited hubby along. Went out with the band after for drinks. Had to find a sitter. This Friday night, we're going to a theatrical production starring, well, a lot of my friends. Have to find a sitter. Saturday night, we have another concert and post-concert reception to attend. Another sitter. Next Thursday and Friday, I'll be at a conference learning how to attract young people to arts events, while hubby has rehearsal for one of his shows. Yep, sitter. The week after that, hubby and I are going to Chicago for two days to see, you guessed it, theatre. Overnight sitter.

My child is a very social being. It's not that she minds staying a few hours with friends or Grandma or cousins. She actually enjoys it and looks forward to it. So why do I still feel guilty? Is it a prerequisite that in order to become a mother, you must meet a certain threshold for feelings of guilt? Or is it society that tries to convince us that as mothers, we must give up our own interests in order to spend as much time with our children as possible? I love spending time with my daughter. I also love spending time with my husband. AND I love spending time without either. Does that make me a bad person, a bad mother, a bad wife?

As my daughter gets older, it's easier for us to bring her along to rehearsals and shows when appropriate. She's spent so much time with her father at rehearsals that by the time the show opens, she could be an understudy! But seriously, I wouldn't do this if I didn't think exposure to the arts was something important and life-changing. Being in the arts really did shape who I am today. Even if she decides to pursue something else outside of the arts, I want her to understand and respect the process and the discipline that people need in order to be really successful at something. And if she does one day decide to be a performer, well, I certainly won't mind!