Time to celebrate

This time of year is always a mix of holidays and celebrations, but even those beyond Thanksgiving and Christmas. November is National Adoption Month, and it always reminds me of the blessing I have sitting in the other room watching 'Little Bill.' December is also the month we received our daughter's referral. And January is when I became a mom. More on that later, so I figured I would take the time to think about the reasons we adopted.

When I married my husband, I knew that I might never become a mother. He had a vasectomy during his first marriage, and my fertility was in question anyway, having had an ectopic pregnancy and miscarriage during my first marriage. But I loved my husband so much that I was willing to make the sacrifice. But when you want a child, the longing doesn't really go away. While I loved his children, I wasn't their mom and didn't try to replace her.

We first started talking about reversing his vasectomy. But after a lot of research, the success rate seemed too low and the procedure too evasive. About this time, a friend of his was adopting a child from China. As a single parent, she asked my husband (just my fiance at the time!) to travel with her to China on her trip so she could have some help. It was about a year and a half after this trip that we started looking into adoption. It seems silly, but I didn't even consider adoption before that. Not because I was against it, just because I didn't think about it! Knowing what the process was like going through China's adoption program, we decided that we would adopt.

It was scary at first. The cost of the adoption process was overwhelming, but we knew we could take our time and start saving up as much as we could. We took the homestudy and paperwork process slowly to give us more time. When we started the process in 2003, it was about a year from DTC (dossier to China) to referral. However, they started speeding up and by the time we received a referral, we'd waited only six months (more on that next month!)

Adoption is truly a beautiful and wonderful way to add to your family. Although I wanted a child, I had no huge desire to go through pregnancy (I'm sort of a wimp). Adoption was the best answer for us. I know that some fear that they may not love an adopted child as much as a biological child. While I have no bio children, I do know that I can't possibly love my daughter more. She couldn't possibly be more my child than if I'd given birth to her (some people call her a mini-me because she is so much like me!)

Some also questioned why we would go through international adoption when so many children in the U.S. are available for adoption, especially through the foster program. I believe that if a child needs a family, it shouldn't matter what country they come from. We should love and care for them all. China's adoption process worked for us. I know that domestic and foster adoption has worked for others. It's a personal choice for a couple.

So, Happy National Adoption Month! We celebrate our child and our family this month and I encourage others to consider adoption as a way to add to your family.